The Plight of the Single Brutha

My big brother says, women are a necessary evil” – Bud.

Well my big brother is right, in some regard. Women are necessary to a man’s existence, however I would not venture so far as to saying that its an evil necessity (except for some).

I am what some think is an anomaly– an educated, God-fearing, goal driven, heterosexual, single BRUTHA. Yes, we do exist and many of my friends are currently maintaining the same status. The question is, WHY AM I STILL SINGLE? In light of such good characteristics, I often wonder if I should shed my image– Should I get a gold grill, sell drugs, or start cheating on women? You know nowadays even the most educated of Sistas love a thug in their life.

After personal experiences, and anthropological research (you know I keep it scholarly), I have come up with a 4 pronged risk factor for single Bruthas. Meaning, women need to overcome the following 4 obstacles in order to get the strong Barack Black man that they rightfully deserve.

1. Bag Ladies- Erykah Badu said it best. Sistas, do not enter our courtship with experiences from your past. I am not saying to forget them, rather, use them as a guide when choosing future partners. However, do not let the old ninja you dated dictate the parameters of our relationship. Don’t punish me because he cheated on you, left you broke, dumped you after he crossed into his fraternity, and refused to get a college degree. In short, don’t let a few dozen rotten apples ruin the entire orchard of billions.

2. DL Paranoia- Damn Ladies, let that go! Every neatly dressed, articulate, college educated Brutha is NOT gay. My opinion is that there is no such thing as DL, because if you looked and thought about it long enough, the fella would have emitted some type of signal to let you know that he really is not that much into you, but rather, your homeboys.

3. Self Insecurities- (sighs). “He wasn’t all that anyway”. I understand that Sistas are conditioned to seeing trifling and shiftless men, but don’t disregard the exception just because he is that. Don’t get angry because I am smart enough to argue back with you, as opposed to nodding my head. Don’t be intimidated by the fact that I am just as smart as you. My educated Sistas have this twisted desire to run men, and do not like to be challenged. Realize that together, us two powerful assholes could take over the world– Black love style.

4. Thug Life- “You are just too normal and nice”. I had 2 girls tell me that once. I am normal because I went to school, hung out with friends, and loved my family. And that was boring to them. I listen to how some of my female friends talk about how they love Lil Wayne– tattoos, baby mama, cocaine AND ALL. If this is your idea of an exciting lifestyle, then you will never get the successful Brutha that your yearn for.

Sistas, please take this into consideration. There are tons of us out here willing and ready to love ya’ll. And WHITEY just ain’t good enough for me.

Single and Wondering Why,